DYSPHORIA IS A BITCH. BUT SO AM I!
TRIGGER WARNING! LIGHT S.I. briefly mentioned in RED INK... if it is not clear in the post, I am in a really great spot now and far from those dark thoughts. So dysphoria continued on for the entire month of December and familiar dark thoughts of "leaving" popped up once or twice. But I also had a reference point of the fact that it can be and does in fact get better. So that was a huge tool in my arsenal of sticking around. It seemed like my Transness was always on display. And I felt hopeless that I went from my gender always being my dirty little secret in the back of my mind, to it being out in the open, but always on my mind because Im constantly having the mental load of working on my voice. And wondering what people think of me, and worrying about my hair and makeup skills in comparison to those who have been doing this much longer. And then the added load of evaluating if I will be safe in my surroundings. Though I think there were way more moving parts than j...