I'M HERE AND I'M QUEER!


 Well, I went to the pride parade and after party. it.... was.... AMAZING! It felt so good to be with people who know my struggle, or support my people. I felt no judgement and saw the whole trans fem spectrum. from my body type all the way to stealth, and everything in between. I wanted to live there. It was so unapologetically queer! It made me feel normal for the first time in my life. My most touching moment was when I saw a dad there with his trans teen. This dad had a dress-shirt tucked into his levis, with a little bottle of sunscreen attached with a carabiner to a belt loop and a conservative hair cut. SO not queer. In fact, he looked confused a lot. But he was there with his kid supporting them. It was so  heartwarming to see!

On another note, I also came out to my boss. I have had a bit of anxiety because I work with kids and with the political water we are swimming in lots of people have the misconception that trans people are trying to "indoctrinate" all the kids and make them trans. I have a lot to say about that dumbness, but I will just leave it with this. We are not trying to indoctrinate anyone into being who they are not. Typically that is the anti trans people trying to keep their world view in tact. We are however, trying to ensure that kids can have these conversations and get the help they need safely. We recognize that gender experimentation is normal and healthy in children. That doesn't mean they are trans and we are not calling for trans care for every little boy who plays dress-up or house. But those that are trans need care and support.  Back to the work thing.....   I sent the text and the world went still.... Time stopped as my anxiety grew with no response from the boss. This can go so badly for me. But if it goes well it will make things so much better for me. . . After 7 looooonnnnnggg minuets,  I get my response.  The boss thanked me for trusting them enough to tell them. Then expressed respect for me and the work I put into my job and said, "I am so happy all the time that I hired you". I was then encouraged to be honest with the kids and if they or their parents have problems with me other arrangements would be made for those kids. But then told me they would be dumb to loose such a great provider. They then asked if they could tell the owner of the company so they could reach out and insure I am 100% supported in my needs. Soooooo Id say it went pretty well. I have always loved my job and the company I work for. They never cease to amaze me in how well they treat their employees. 

On another other note... again, I am becoming more confident in feminine clothing, or rather I seem to be finding a style in feminine clothing Im comfortable presenting in. Im sure I still look silly to others, but I dont cringe when I look in the mirror anymore.  I am caring less and feeling more confident! Well, to a point....  I still avoided going to the grocery store by my house 2 weeks ago for a quick coffee stop before church. My confidence seems stronger when I am in my home, far from home, and in places I perceive to be supportive. But it has grown vastly from wearing a "woman's" top to church! Who knows, I may even start posting pictures and retroactively adding them to the blog?

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