MY BODY IS NOT THE PROBLEM

I think Im turning into a bit of an introvert these days. When Im alone I feel feminine and authentic. I forget I was born a male.  I am not being constantly stared at or judged. Im not comparing myself to other women and feeling inadequate, or second guessing how I am dressed. I am the happiest when I can just feel like me without feeling society's judgmental gaze. Even on my roughest days, if I can avoid people and mirrors I can survive better. I dont feel trapped in my body so much anymore with the hormones doing their magic. But now I am trapped in other peoples perceptions of my body. With my new developments Im starting to feel more and more that my body is not wrong, the way people talk about my body is wrong. The way people interact with my body is wrong.  I am more than my body, but when some people talk to me it is daggers' to my heart. I was not born into the wrong body, I was born into a world that doesn't know what my body means. So I am changing it for others to understand how to interact with it. The biggest concern about transitioning has always been that I wont "look like a woman". And that has truly been the hardest part about transitioning. But if society knew how to interact with my body,  this problem would not be a problem at all. I remember shortly after coming out, I was at my besties house and we were talking about what it all means and what things would look like moving forward. I said "It just feels nice to be able to talk about it with people. I will never actually transition because I would not look good". That was met with a moment of silence, followed by one of them saying, "I hate that people judge others based on looks so much. Everyone should feel free to dress however they want and still feel valued". I am so lucky to have these two in my life. 💖  One of the light bulb moments that lead me to start transitioning was the following self reflection, "If I was all alone on a deserted Island, who would I be?" .... I think Im turning into a bit of an introvert these days. When Im alone I feel feminine and authentic.....


So this one is short, but I'll leave you with a progress pic of 8 months on HRT, growing my hair out and learning makeup!







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