Hold on to your hats folks. This one may go on a bit of a rant at times. But the feelings are raw and true. So please bear with me and push through. I really didnt think Id be doing a whole poste about "the church" ever again. 😢
6 years ago the church I grew up in (the mormon church or the church of jesus christ of latter day saints) changed some policies in their general handbook to make things a bit more inclusive for transgender people. The changes were not super, but I saw them as a step in the correct direction and had hope for the future. These policies allowed for fully transitioned individuals to be baptized into the church in a limited capacity with leadership approval. This meant you can have a calling, but not priesthood or temple benefits. And transgender members who were taking hormones', but did not have any surgical alterations were able to socially transition and remain members in good standing. The policy specifically mentioned that the church recognized HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and socially transitioning were found to be good for the mental well being of those struggling with gender dysphoria. Recently the church revised these changes. The church wants to claim that these revisions are just clarifications and that nothing has actually changed. But now it is very clear that members engaging in HRT or even just socially transitioning are now considered members in limited capacity. And have gone on to specifically restrict them from participating in any calling dealing with the youth, or staying over night in any church functions that would take place over night such as youth camps, family camps, or single adult camp outs. It also clarifies that "using a restroom that corresponds to the individuals feelings of their inner sense of gender" should only be done after clearing it with the bishop. And IF it is ok with the bishop, a trusted friend should ensure the bathroom is empty and remains empty while being used by the trans individual for the "safety" of others.
I have friends and family who can not understand why this is upsetting to me. I have been asked so many times, "If you don't believe in the church, why do you care? how is this affecting you?" Well...
This is harmful to me because it is speaking directly to my family and friends and giving them reasons to discredit me and separate me from them without even talking to me. It uses language that implies I am a sexual predator and also directly treats me like one. First, by implying I can not use a bathroom for the "safety" of others. And then solidifying this thought process by explicitly not allowing me to work with the youth . And then this is even further driven home by the fact that I can not stay at church functions that go over night. A restriction that the church only places on people who are on the sex offender registry (I assume.... Actually I was unable to find any language saying they are restricted in any of these ways). Even all that aside, policies like these are why I felt I needed to hide this part of me for my first 40 years of life. And even if these policies were not affecting me directly, do they need to for me to care that they are hurting others?
Which brings me to another argument I have come across. "Well, It really isn't affecting that many people." To that I say, didn't christ leave the 99 to go after the one? But that aside, lets look at a few statistics. It is hard to fully gauge the number of transgendered individuals because many dont feel safe and are living closeted lives. But the latest consensus is 1% of the worlds population is trans. And some figures suggest it is as high as 3%. Lets compare that to the 0.212% of the worlds population that is mormon. This is quite a bit less than 1% and includes all members of record. Including people like me who no longer attend but have not removed their records. I personally know at least as many people who no longer believe, but have yet to remove records as people who still attend. But for the sake of argument, lets just count all members of record. So by the logic that it is not affecting that many people applies even more if the government wanted to discriminate against mormons in any way. "its really not hurting that many people". But lets follow the stats a bit further. Statistically every congregation will have AT LEAST one transgendered individual, closeted or out doesn't matter. I know of 5 in my neighborhood who are out that all feeds into one congregation. Bear in mind while considering all of this that this is not just affecting the transgendered individual, but their loved ones as well.
Another thing that hurt me is when the document used the language "feelings of their inner gender". Lets talk a bit about feelings. This language seems very dismissive to me. Some of my earliest memories involve experiencing gender dysphoria before I even had words for it. I have these memories throughout my life and till recently, have had the nagging of gender dysphoria in my brain on a daily basis. They are not fleeting feelings. And this dismissive language is coming from a church that teaches it's members to follow their feelings to know the church is true. Then proclaim you know it to be true to the world without a doubt. Nobody ever says "I feel the church is true". I know this point is a bit nit-picky. But I also recognize every word in every scripture or policy is meticulously considered and nit-picked as "deep doctrine" in this church. So I know Im not the first to think this. And as a trans youth, I would have internalized this language. It is not just a feeling. It is a major part of who I am.
I didnt even get into the church only respecting the transgender persons names or pronouns on a case by case basis based on peoples comfort levels as I do have grace for this in my own life. I did however decide that I am returning the favor a little just to be snarky and choosing to refer to the church mostly as the mormon church in this blog post. "I just dont feel comfortable saying the church of jesus christ of latter day saints" when they (#notallmormons) profess him with their lips, but their hearts are far from him. The church of jesus christ of latter day saints not even their real legal name... look it up...
The mormon church recognizing in the last policy that HRT and social transition can be life saving (Which it 100% was for me), then treating those who peruse those ends as unworthy is like telling diabetic members that there is a medicine and they can use it. Then turning around to say if they take insulin they are actually not worthy. These new policies are NOT rooted in sensitivity, compassion or christ like love. Frankly, this new policy adjustment feels like Oaks starting to set his projects into motion and take the lead early while Neilson's health is too poor to run the church. . . Just my thoughts though.
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